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October 31, 2011

10*31*11 Another Bachelor Party Success

object in mirror may be closer than appear
So I am stoked that I only have like three friends cause if I had to do to many more of these things I would be broke or dead or both.  Any way we packed up and headed out in the MW(good friends band allows us to use there tour van for trips.) van to Gainsville Fl. for Fest 10.  The van has seen better days but eats up the road miles like a boss.  Missing a big portion of front driver head light area, rear passenger lights don't work, floor is unclean-able, and guarantee if a black light went in this thing it would glow like Chernobyl.

always on the road

I was picked up at 3:00am to head out.  This surly group of mutants I call friends got there straight from a local bar and a night of partying.  We loaded up and hit the road.  With a giant cooler between the driver and passenger seat full of fun we were sure to have a great time.(no one drinks and drives on these trips, but drink and sit in a van yeah that kinda happens.)  All things went smooth on the trip down other than a small traffic stop for texting while driving.  Ill have him know I was tweeting not texting, Noob.  After getting our warning for the above mentioned technical difficulties that the van has we were back on our way.

We got to Gainsville around 2pm and got some food at Satchel's this pizza place was pretty dynamite.  With a belly full of carbs and 3 now hungover dudes out of 6 we trekked to the hotel and decided to rest up a bit then go get our tickets.  We had been reading on the twitter that the line was a 3-4 hour wait for registration but they were at lest selling beer in line.  We got in line at 6 with a plastic bag of beers and settled in.  Luckily the line went smooth and we were out of that situation in less than an hour.

there was rumor to be ice in bottom...still unproven
Moving down the street to the venues we were planned to post up and watch Kid Dynamite, Bouncing Souls, Hot Water Music and I think someone else but my brained turned off from all the luke warm PBR and BO.  All the bands put on a great show and it is good to see people get out and enjoy shows.  I had a hard time when the scene changed and it was kids all standing around looking uninterested at a show they paid to get into.  Oh well.   At some point after repeatedly skipping the mile long bathroom line and walking in and pissing in the sink like an adult I found my self now shirtless and making super drunk text to friends about god knows what.  Sorry Dunc and Jim.  I think on my last trip to the head I found my self out side hailing a  cab and heading back to the hotel solo.  Things are a bit foggy after that.
Hey Capt




Saturday-

Started as I suspected it would with a disabilitating headache and waves of dry heaving.  I cured this with a cold shower, 6 extra strength excedrin, some gatorade/pedialyte, and breakfast buffet of coffee and bacon covered things.  As per my normal routine now, I know I will not be drinking to any heavy extent for the remainder of the trip.  Come 4:00pm we had regrouped and made our way for some food at a local mexican joint.  This place was delicious but had way too much soccer on tv. "In America, people fucking hate soccer. And honestly, that's the way it should be."  Kenny Powers
Tim Barry


We made our way to secret show of A Wilhelm Scream they put on a great show and more kids smashing into each other having a great time.  After that Dead to Me then off to sit at an empty bar and have a couple before Tim Barry went on.  Tim Barry put on a great show.  Everyone in our group is much more familiar with him than I am, I will be changing that now.  Time plays american folk now and come across as genuine as and musician I have ever seen.  He also was the front man for an old punk band Avail.  After watching Tim we decided to head back to the hotel instead of watching a sure to be disappointing show by Against Me.  I really like them and would have loved to see them 6 years ago.  There newest stuff is a steaming pile.  At the hotel we figured sitting outside at the pool and destroying our way through the rest of the booze that we packed would be the smart move.  As we sat down to play some dice I wandered off to the hotel bar to get change for the dice game.  Sitting in the completely empty bar is this kid bar tending and Tim Barry.  I got my change and told him how much I enjoyed the show.  He said thanks and asked what are we getting into.  I told him pretty low key hanging out at the pool.  He asked if I would mind if he joined us.  So Time joined our group of 6 and hung out with us telling stories and laughing and making fun of each other.  This was truly the high point of the trip.
what a sweaty dude factory would look like

Tim Told us a story of this awful stripper in Atlanta that gave him a black eye by using one of her giant tits and punching him through it.  Then acted this situation out on the bachelor of our group.  Tim giving Patrick a lap dance was a hilarious moment I won't forget anytime soon.  Here is info on the Stripper who is famous for smashing beer cans between her tits.  Clermont Lounge Blondie is listed under notable employees.

This is Blondie...she likes to party
After hanging out with Tim and moving forward things got cloudy.  There was pizza ordered to the pool.  Some Belgian guys, canadians, some dick from Kentucky, and an actual girl showed up.  These were like Unicorns at fest often talked about but rarely seen.  I guess heavy set bearded dudes with band tattoos and bad hygiene are not there ideal situation.

After eventually passing out and waking up to find two members of the group outside still partying (dead behind the eyes big time) and hanging out with an ex-con land walrus names Ian.  Ian had spent a handful of years in jail for what we are not sure, and makes his own Ian's Party shirts.  It is a Danzig logo with a giant beard on it.  We decided to drag the two hyper mutants at the point off to breakfast since one had developed some weird sway to his step which seemed to keep him moving and awake and the other was eating sun chips out of Ian's beard and a pine cone that I suggested him eat.  Also was attempting to put on a Parkour exhibition for us, this was not successful.  I know I'm a great friend.  Only one made it to breakfast the other's body failed him in the hunt for his wallet and passed out sitting indan style on the ground.  Sitting this way for more than 10 seconds leaves me crippled so I can't even imagine passing out like that.  After breakfast the other one finally gave up and fell asleep in a chair.  We gave them about 15 min of rest then began packing there stuff for them and coral them into the van to start the 10hour drive home.

The drive home was pretty uneventful other than a couple of side door moving vomits.  All in all another great trip with great friends.  I am however getting to old to handle this much fun for that long every day.
zombie also a spitter
At some point a mans got to eat.. front back pack

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