9*6*11 BACK FROM CA... part 1

So Ash and I got home last night around 8:00 pm.  I am still pretty tired and my low back feels like mashed up assholes.  We boarded our 1st flight in Sacramento at 9:25 and stayed on the same plane through stops in LA, and Denver finally getting to New Orleans at 6:45pm.  However the flights were pretty uneventful and we were able to spend most of the time in the bulkhead seats with the just the two of us on our row.  This makes for a huge difference in travel since I have room to stand up and stretch when I want to.  None of this is new to those of you who also travel regularly, so on to the trip.

Day 1:  Travel and being failed by friends bad choices in restaurants

I married up... part of my code

We got up and rolled out heading to New Orleans to catch our leaving flight at 10:00.  No big deal there.  My wife looks infinity more attractive than I do anyways and especially on days that I am setting up for long travel.  Personally I cant bring myself to wear anything but sweatpants/shorts and light t-shirts.  I am trying to fight the non stop war on swamp ass all day.  The two of us have not had the chance to travel together other than our honeymoon since we drove up the east coast two years ago.  She was a great travel companion, one of the best parts is that she goes about it the same as I do with minimal expectations and takes it as it comes.

SAN DIEGO--rough translation "A whales Vagina"

We arrived in Sacramento at near 4:00pm after a short layover in Whales Vagina (San Diego).  We sat and had an older latin couple tell us about there travels and what we needed to do while in San Francisco.  Old people are Honey Baddgers they just don't give a shit if you have headphones in and are not listening. They will keep talking and eventually awkward you into the conversations.  So out the airport, get bags, and onward to pick up the whip.  This trip we have the luxury of navigating the bay area in a Nissan Versa.  This car is the cheapest option and feel just like that.  However it is easy to park and help all of our shit.

Driving into San Francisco from Sacramento takes about 1hr and 30mins so we stopped and grabbed IN-N-OUT like fucking bosses and made our way into town.  We were fortunate that our GPS (Shelia- this is the name of our cunt GPS voice) rerouted us away from traffic and sent us over the Golden Gate Bridge.  This was fun and now after being in CA for an 1hr we have now checked out the Golden Gate Bridge and smashed some double doubles.  Pretty solid so far.  Arriving at our hotel (the Metro) in downtown SF was easy enough then parking was another thing.  Our room was quaint with a tv the size of my head, but who needs it.  We showered and cleaned up to meet some friends for dinner.

little of the old IN-OUT, IN-OUT

having some Double Vodkas and bangers and mash... you betcha.

Dinner was originally planned for Tiernan's Irish Pub,(here is the YELP page for it.  Yelp is good if you are new to traveling and have never used the internet before.) this place is down by Fisherman's Warf and my buddies Duncan and Jonathan have gone every year for awhile.  (no self-respecting Ultra-marine would eat or drink here.)  Well while still respecting my friends opinion on things, Ash and I arrive before them by about an hour.  This place is tourist central and currently has a mutant running/singing awful karaoke.  There are laser lights and shitty "Fridays" fake memorabilia stapled to all of the walls.  Now that both my wife and I are pissed and can't get drinks from the Pikey wait staff fast enough to combat the onslaught of awful on our senses.  We text our friends tell them them we hate them and we are heading somewhere better.  After about 15 seconds on my phone we found a much better destination called The Irish Bank, and it is awesome.  Great atmosphere (dark and outdoorsy) and waitresses that are trying to make a living.   After finally leaving here and catching another cab back to the hotel we finally pass out kinda drunk, thank you vodka.

Day 2: San Francisco Day

Coffee- CHECK

We woke up with a bit of a headache from all of the excitement the night before, then promptly made our way to get coffee and breakfast rations.  There is a small place up the road that my wife wanted to go to.  It is nothing special but the coffee was good and the food was aces.  This place is kinda a locals joint called Eddie's Cafe.  This place uses random coffee mugs as their mugs.  I got a sweet giants one while Ash's was hearts like cartoon boxers.  After filling our tanks with black gold we set out to explore the city.(also I got a parking ticket for not having my wheels turned to the curb on a hill better than 3% grade.  WTF!!! $50 great stupid local law bullshit.)

That bee next level pollinator... mother nature thanks you.

Since where we were staying was right next to Golden Gate Park we started there.  This place was beautiful and holds some different gardens.  Our first stop was the Botanical Garden, this place was super cool.  The exhibition that was on display was "Wicked Plants" (this is referring to that the plants sting or kill things, not that they are Bruin, Sox, or Celtic fans.)  Not much to say about it but plenty pictures.

Venus Fly Trap doing work...

These are cactus....BOOM!!!

I fight back.....

it's the beach dummy.

SUP DOODS!!!!

I eat a lot of carbs I mean Crabs . Well we know truth.

After that we headed over to the beach and gave it a good looking at.  The sand in CA sucks compared to FL and the water is cold.  But I guess it is the reason that San Francisco feels like the AC is always on and Home feels like the inner circle of hell.  There were a couple of sweet ass crabs on the beach, as well as rocks and what not.  We loaded back in the Versa and stopped for more coffee.  unbeknownst to us the restaurant we stopped at over looks the ruins of the Sutro Baths.  This was a giant ocean water filled bath house where dudes and chicks wearing dumb swimsuits could use water slides and swim laps.  Pretty sweet, so we gave further inspection finding a cave.

Ruins of bath House

used to be this... worst MTV spring break ever.

that's my boo.. I can see her aura.

I snuck around the barrier.... FUCKING REBEL

When we finished all of the wandering around the coasts we determined that we were hungry again and in fact it was time to find Mexican food.  We made our way to our previously decided lunch destination of Taco Shop at Underdogs.  This place has by far and way the best fucking fish tacos I have ever had, that mixed with a pint of Anchor Steam made for a fantastic lunch.  This place was great, good service, cold beer, delicious food, and good music playing.

Full table of TACOs....SMART

The Armory-Where dreams and girls with daddy issues go.

Now powered by the best tacos ever we made our way to Haight St.  There are a ton of vintage shops and other bullshit over there.  Lots of people and no clothes that fit fat people like me.  Ash found some stuff she wanted so that was cool.  Very touristy area, next time we come there will be no reason to stop here.  OH I forgot on the way we made a swing by The Armory in downtown.  This place has been used for all types of shit, but now currently is owned and operated by Kink.com and they can make a great fuck picture.

After exhausting ourselves walking around at such great altitudes we decided it was time to head to Pleasanton and check in to the Hotel.  We ate some giant ass noodle bowls for dinner at a place completely getting ripped off the apple logo.

Get day one of competition in part 2.  Stay tuned it's a cliff hanger.